Wednesday, February 04, 2004

Pope Exposes Himself to Young Children

Vatican - Controversy erupted across the media after last week's exposure of the Pope's genitalia during a performance of young Polish breakdancers. Despite complaints of outraged parents, the Vatican is denying the exposure was intentional. Vatican spokesman Father Donatella Nowunn commented, "It was purely accidental. The Pope was caught up in the moment of watching those nubile young boys perform and wanted to join in. Due to a 'wardrobe malfunction' Vatican resident Cardinal Bernard law accidentally ripped open his robe." Cardinal Law added, "This was purely accidental. We were watching the enticing performance of these young boys, you know, no one knows hip-hop like boys from Galicia, their ancestors were totally ghetto, that's where they kept all their Jews. And then the pope turned to me and he said, 'yo Bernie, let's kick it G.' You gotta represent, knumean?"
While the controversy continues, Vatican legal counsel Thayall Deservtit stated, "No boys were harmed by this act. It didn't even take place. Don't believe what you hear on the internet. These boys are only claiming emotional harm to get at us with big lawsuits. Damn victims always are after our money. Sometimes it's hardly worth it to molest the little liars."

Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the Hoolinet
Copyright 2004 Boniface Bugle Productions. All Rights Absurd.

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